'dyslexic', 'agnostic' 'insomniac'

I'm a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac. I stay up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

'perpetual'

If you could choose between perpetual peace all over the world and a billion dollars.
What car would you buy?

'emergency medical/ambulance service'

What is the saying of Polish emergency ambulance service?
Later you come better diagnosis!

'fair-weather friend'

A fair-weather friend isn't much help in an emergency. A friend in need is a friend indeed.

'suite'
The hotel receptionist saying:
Evry suit books a suite.

'hare' 'rabbit'

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares!

To taki klasyczny, wręcz dziecinny:

- Why is six afraid of seven?
- Because seven ate nine.

If You Marry a Ukrainian Girl

The first man married a woman from Muldova. He told her
that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of
days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes
washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from Russia. He gave his wife
orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The
first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was
better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were
done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Ukraine. He ordered her to
keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and
hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't
see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third
day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of
his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a
sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he
urinates.