PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters¹ when they were having sex.  Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper² wherever indicated³ and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened⁴. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing⁵ happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

¹ splinter = odłamek, zadzior
² sandpaper = papier ścierny
³ indicated = wskazany
⁴ enlightened = oświecony
⁵ bouncing = doskonale wyglądający